Does Time Heal?

Here I am, closing in on three years from the death of my dear son Nathan.  He would probably be quite a handful right now.

Much to be thankful for

Clara looking at Nathan's memorial necklace.

But, as a friend of mine so sweetly says, “Better to have hand’s full than empty.”  I am sure many of you have heard a hundred times, “Don’t worry. Time heals“.  I guess that’s the only comforting thing that some people know to say, and in one sense, it’s true.  As time goes on, there are fewer daggers of pain that catch you off guard and less time that your mind spends wondering and wishing your child was there with you, but does time heal, really?

I think time is God’s tender mercy that allows healing to take place, but really God’s love is what heals.  If time itself truly healed, many of us would be walking in a much more victorious place.  Unfortunately, that is not always the case.

I have met many families now who have been affected by tragedies such as this, and I can tell you first hand that some have allowed time to make them bitter.  At God, towards people, at life in general.  Some to the extreme point of allowing that sense we all have that we might go crazy to take over their minds and literally ruin their lives.  Broken marriages, broken families, lost jobs, even leaving their living children… you name it.We have to choose to meet God in the deepest part of our pain as time passes.  When the pain is at the worst, we must engage it, meet it head on, and feel it all over again.

The key is going there with God.  If you don’t go there with God, you are going by yourself.  You don’t have the equipment you need to make the real healing happen.  You would never go into surgery with all the breathing apparatus, scalpels, tools, even nurses, but no surgeon.  The surgeon is the one who knows your body and knows how to use the tools.  He is an expert.  So is God.  You need Him with you. Trust Him in the loneliest, darkest places.

Ps 23:4

4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
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4 Responses to Does Time Heal?

  1. Jamie says:

    Beautiful post Jen! Someday, when you and Nathan are reunited in Heaven, I imagine that he will be so honored and proud of how you have allowed God to use his passing to minister to so many others.

  2. Claire Brooks says:

    Thank you for continuing to share. Your family touches my life so much. I am still encouraged by nathan’s life.

  3. Rachel Gates says:

    Thank you for sharing Nathan’s story. I will pass it on as it is a story that we need to hear. Healing through and in Papa God’s time. As he walks with us through that valley and comforts us with the Holy Comforter, we feel His heart, dive in, and are enraptured forever! That is where we are created anyway(His heart)and that is where we will remain-forever! Looking, searching past the pain of loss and seeing a future of faith, hope, and love through irresistible Jesus’ arms. Going to bed in His arms and awaking in His presence. Selah!

  4. Rachel Gates says:

    If anyone hasn’t heard of it yet, read Heaven is for Real. The NY Times Bestsellar by Todd Burpo. His son, Colton, Gives ‘A little boy’s astounding story of his trip to heaven and back.’ Including, spending time with his sister in heaven who was was miscarried in the womb years before he was born. The book is amazing, a short read, and I couldn’t put it down. Read it in one day.

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